Frustratingly wonderful

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“God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when he catches us, as it were, off our guard.” – CS Lewis

I find solace in these words by CS Lewis in that as a Christ follower and as a church leader I desire to hear God, I want to know I am in His will.

Sometimes this means I carve out solitude time, time with no list, no agenda, no pressure and no distractions.

But over many years of climbing up mountains, getting onto quiet stretches of beach or finding a secluded spot in the hills and valleys of KwaZulu Natal I have discovered that God doesn’t speak when I want Him to and I can’t change God.

This used to get me all wound up, I’ve come here full of passion, I need to hear You God and then in those solitude moments there is just myself and…………………………….silence.

God’s not on my timeframe, doesn’t always pick up the ‘phone’ when I’ve decided to call.

Just yesterday I had set time aside for solitude, I had my venue planned, had my camping chair, had some snacks (I’ve found solitude with food way more effective than solitude with fasting) and as I was packing to go found myself saying this to God…

“I know You probably won’t speak to me while I am there and I just want you to know that’s totally cool.  I’m going anyway because I know You love it when I do seek you and I love it too!”

What seems to matter most to Him is that I came, that I sought Him, that I want to hear Him.  He wants relationship – we often want results, an outcome, a decision or direction.
And slowly I’ve learnt that I can’t change God, so I better change and I’m so much the better for it. My Father will speak to me, what matters is that I seek Him.  He will speak in unexpected ways that surprise and thrill me, sometimes He keeps me waiting till the final hour but He will speak to those who seek Him.

Resolving this has helped me grow in my love for God and my understanding of Him.  It’s also helped me enjoy times of solitude more and more knowing that what really matters is that I came, that I sought Him out.

By Gareth Bowley

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One thought on “Frustratingly wonderful

    Nadine Bowley said:
    July 27, 2016 at 3:44 am

    So freeing to read! 😘

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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